When you think of a person who’d be into kinky sex, I’m the last person you’d imagine. I’m a mom of two (with the stretch marks to prove it) who’s been happily married for nearly 20 years. I volunteer at the school, work part-time in …
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“I’m going to wrestle you so hard right now,” my husband Craig says to me.
We’re in the kitchen, making chicken tacos, and I just told him he’s cutting the onion wrong. I’m cranky. I’ve been sleeping terribly, my night terrors rearing their ugly delusional heads. Earlier in the week, I thought a rumpled bathrobe on the floor next to the bed was our 3-year-old daughter Hattie, dead. I got up and screamed. I also punched Craig in the back.
As if he wasn’t already pissed at me, I’ve been letting my clothes pile up all over the house, something he can’t stand. Me, I’m annoyed that he’s been working on the computer long after the workday is over and is quick to lose his patience with Hattie, leaving me to clean up the tearful aftermath. Around the house, there’s no shortage of outbursts involving the word “fuck.”
Any chance we have to talk or cuddle or watch a movie together to make up is co-opted by Hattie, who has decided bedtime is the hour to try on every piece of clothing she owns, or by our newborn daughter Marvin, who needs to be at my breast at all times.
So we wrestle.
In the 10 minutes we have before we both pass out and start the parenting-work circus that is our life all over again the next day, we collapse on the bed, our makeshift wrestling ring. It begins gently enough, with some rolling and tousling of the hair, nothing too major, and picks up as our bodies start to feel really good about slamming into one another. He chicken-wings me, a move he perfected with his little brother. I knee him close to his crotch. We have no rules; anything goes.
The thing is, I like wrestling. Maybe even love it.
See, I have a little sister, but growing up we would only fight in the ways that females stereotypically do. Sort of. When we were younger, I’d pull her hair and chase her with a vacuum cleaner, the mere threat of it enough to send her screaming to her room. (A memory my mother never lets me forget even now at 35-years-old.) When we were in our teens, we’d steal each other’s clothes and stay on the one landline phone we all shared way longer than we said, out of spite. In our adult life, it looked more like throwing purses and calling each other every curse word imaginable.
Yet, while those outbursts might have temporarily relieved some frustration, they weren’t enough to let it go.
That’s where wrestling—a sport I knew little about and continue to know little about—comes into play. In those moments when Craig’s pinning me or I’m trying to cheat by nudging him off the bed with my feet, it’s hard to not to find the childish amusement in two grown-ups thrashing around like floppy fish. Most times our bout ends with us laughing, sometimes we have sex, and occasionally we take a nap.
I never win. And I don’t care.
I hesitate to tell people about our wrestling trysts. For one, they take one look at me and don’t believe I’m capable of it. I’m soft spoken. I have freckles. I look like the type of woman who rode horses in her childhood. (I didn’t, as I’ve never really liked animals.) And when they hear I met Craig in the Peace Corps, then it’s really over. The Peace Corps. Surely I’m some calm hippie who eats kale and meditates.
While I do, in fact, love kale, what they don’t know is that there’s a rage I’ve inherited from my Irish, bipolar father hidden deep within me. I’ve been drawn to things I could hit my whole life—a volleyball or drumkit, for example—and have an unabashed crush on JWOWW from Jersey Shore for the sole reason that she’s not afraid to use her fists when necessary. Wrestling lets me safely tap into those primal urges that women have been typically told to reign in. Sit still. Don’t cause a scene. Don’t fight.
This body of mine that has spent hours, days even, pushing out two humans wants another body pressing up against mine that isn’t going to back down. That’s committed to this moment. That’s going to make me twist my limbs and bend my bones in ways I don’t normally do, and come at me hard. I don’t believe in soft. I never have.
On the bed, I thrust my body on top of Craig’s back and have an advantage for a few seconds. Then in an instant, he’s twisted himself out from under me and is holding my hands above my head. We stare at each other, breathing heavily. The kids are in a deep sleep. The laundry remains dirty. The anxieties about our careers and creativity are forgotten.
I surrender to the loss of control.
I examine the number of gray hairs in his beard, hairs that have multiplied in the 10 years we’ve been together, and think of the number of gray streaks popping up on my own head. I imagine us old together, and how delicate our wrestling will have to be with our creaky bones and droopy skin.
Then claustrophobia starts to set in. I wiggle free from his grip and tickle him in a moment of weakness. We both laugh and fall into spooning. Match over. His workaholic tendencies will probably annoy me another time, but right now, they don’t seem so irritating.
“I’m sorry about the mess,” I say.
“I’m sorry about working so much,” he says.
Nothing is completely resolved. Not yet, at least. But there’s always tomorrow when maybe I can get one more half-nelson in.
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Yoni eggs are something very personal and we believe that every woman feels best which egg fits her. To start with, we recommend using the yoni egg of quartz or jade. If you plan to give yoni eggs to a friend or acquaintance, it is advisable to choose one of these crystals.
All our eggs have a hole through which a thread runs. This helps especially in the beginning to get a better sense of security in dealing with the yoni egg.
What Size Fits For Me?
Yoni eggs are available in 3 sizes: Large 45x30mm, Medium 40x25mm and Small 30x20mm. That sounds a little bit contradictory, but at the beginning you have to start with a big or middle Yoni egg and then try to scale down to a smaller size with increasing skill. The bigger the egg, the easier it is to feel and hold it with the muscles. At the same time, the big yoni egg is also the heaviest and therefore harder to keep for a longer period of time. If you cannot keep the egg in it, do not be discouraged – that’s normal. It takes practice and patience. If you have trouble, try to start by lying or sitting.
Rule of thumb: Most women can start with the medium size. It does not matter which figure you have or if you have grown big or small. The medium size usually fits well. If after one month of practicing you find that you feel more comfortable with a big egg, you can still buy a bigger one. Then, after about two weeks with the bigger egg, you can take on the medium size again.
If you have already had one or more children or the menopause and therefore unsure what size fits you, we recommend the set of 3. You can work through the 3 sizes with exercise or use different sizes on different days.
Small yoni eggs (Small) are not intended for small women, but for advanced users. The smaller the egg, the more muscle needed to feel and hold the egg. Small yoni eggs are also suitable for women who have a strong pelvic floor muscles. In this case, however, caution is advised and it is recommended to consolidate the gynecologist and discuss the practice with her prior to the event.
What Crystal Should I Choose?
The answer to the question of which crystal to choose is already deep within you. Many women choose a crystal based on their intuition.
Yoni Eggs from this site are made from real crystals and processed into yoni eggs. Many crystals are safe to wear, but please note that not all are suitable for prolonged use within the yoni.
In the Taoist culture, 3 types of stones are used. Women tend to start with the healing jade, then go to the Black Obsidian to release trauma and inner blockages and end up with the rose quartz, which opens the heart. These stones have been used for thousands of years and both safety and healing have been proven over time.
The most popular crystal for beginners is the jade, which we recommend for the start of the Yoni practice for the following reasons:
Jade is a very hard stone that does not break, even if it falls off during the exercise. Jade absorbs heat very quickly, so your body does not need much energy to warm it up. Jade has many healing properties for the body the reproduction His energy is strong and protective. Jade protects you from negative energy from the outside Most women can wear jade for a long period of time and are thus supplied with energy With enough care, a jade egg will be a faithful companion for a lifetime Starting with a jade egg is our recommendation. Follow your intuition, however, if your body tells you otherwise.
How Does You Work With The Yoni Ei?
The Yoni Egg practice consists of contraction exercises of the pelvic floor muscles – so-called Kegel exercises. The only difference to the usual Kegel exercises is that you have a Yoni Egg inside you. For example, instead of just exercising your biceps with an up and down motion, you use a dumbbell.
Please give yourself time. It’s important that you focus on relaxing yourself and your pelvic floor after contracting. Your goal is to train your agility while developing muscle power. See it as a yoga exercise that involves both strength and stretching and relaxation.
As you gain experience and practice, you will be able to target and activate various muscle areas within your yoni. This is known as “pompoir” or “vaginal kung fu” – how cool is that?
Note: As with any exercise session, regular exercise will bring the best results. We recommend that you use the yoni egg as a ritual. A ritual for self-love. Set a goal and take time for yourself.
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